BEHOLD!!!

That's right, upper-left corner! It IS in the Unites States!

This is where we're really going. Like, for sure. For total sure. 

Unless something else comes up.

And here's what the timing pretty much looks like:

Monday, May 13- Texas panhandle: Amarillo and Groom. Spend the night in Groom (I checked this place out on Google. Small town Texas. Wow.)

Tuesday, May 14- Lunch in Wichita Falls, TX on our way to Dallas. Spend the night in Dallas.

Wednesday, May 15- Lunch in Waco, on our way to Houston. Sleep in Houston.

Thursday, May 16- Stay in Houston (we get to not drive for a day!). FUN MEETUP at night at the Fox & Hound Pub (11470 Westheimer Road)- Houstonites, be there or be square!

Friday, May 17- Drive to Shreveport, Louisiana. Have some fun (TBA). Sleep.

Saturday, May 18- Head to Jackson, Mississippi. Sing "I'm going to Jackson" in the style of Johnny Cash the entire way.

Sunday, May 19- AM church in Jackson, lord help us (yep- that means a church review), then press on to Montgomery, Alabama. 

Monday, May 20- A long and rather circuitous route through 'Bama will eventually land us in Murfreesboro, TN.

Tuesday, May 21- We leave early, 'cause we gotta make it to Memphis before Graceland closes (though we'll pass through another town called Jackson, so we'll be singing Cash again before we start singing Elvis).

Wednesday, May 22- Wave at Little Rock (maybe have lunch there- any Little Rockers out there wanna join us?) on our way to Hot Springs, Arkansas. Why Hot Springs? Who knows.

Thursday, May 23- Drive through the beautiful (one supposes) Ouachita National Forest to Muskogee County, Oklahoma. Frank's old stomping grounds! I get to see where Frank practiced his trombone for marching band! I'm not making that up!

Friday, May 24- Frank Family stuff. You're not invited.

Saturday, May 25- Passion Play in Eureka Springs, Arkansas! EVERYBODY SHOULD COME TO THIS WITH US! Seriously, if you live anywhere even remotely close to Eureka Springs (and remember, compared to, say, Poland, most American locations are pretty close), you need to join us for this event! Then, we'll go find a place nearby that serves alcohol. Lot's of alcohol. So help me if Eureka Springs turns out to be in a "dry County", I'll know FOR SURE that there's no god.

Sunday, May 26- Party in Bonner Springs, Kansas! We'll send you a full report.

Monday, May 27- Stop in Topeka (home of those nice Westboro Baptists), do some stuff, have lunch, and then put the pedal to the metal, and get our asses home!

KABAM!

So that's it. That's where we'll be and a lot of what we'll be doing! If you want to be a part of it, hit us up! If you're in one of these fine towns, let us know, and we'll try to announce where we'll be, so y'all can join in the festivities. See you soon!

Mon, May 13 – en route to Dallas from Salt Lake

Tue, May 14 – DALLAS

Wed, May 15 – AUSTIN

Thu, May 16 – HOUSTON

Fri, May 17 – NEW ORLEANS

Sat, May 18 – MONTGOMERY

Sun, May 19 – ATLANTA

Mon, May 20 – MURFREESBORO, TN

Tue, May 21 – MEMPHIS

Wed, May 22 – CLARKSDALE, MS

Thu, May 23 – EUREKA SPRINGS, AR

Fri, May 24 & Sat, May 25 – MUSKOGEE COUNTY, OK

Sun, May 26 – TULSA

Mon, May 27 – TOPEKA

It is unlikely that these dates and stops will change, but please let us know if you think they should! 

Listen:

• Moon Quakers

Newsy Stuff:

• Pope resigns due to powerful Vatican gay lobby.
• That douche Mahony blogs again.
• California school district sued over yoga classes.
• Women arrested at Wailing Wall. Sarah Silverman's sister included.
• Twats announce what they're giving up for lent on Twitter.

Listen:

• Episode 66: Mahony vs. the World

Newsy stuff: 

• Is God the missing character on "Downton Abbey?"
• Scott Lively, 'Kil the Gays' bill supporter and evangelist, on trial for crimes against humanity.
• Cardinal Roger Mahony, pedophile protecting bishop, blogs about his 'humiliation' and 'forgiving' those who are angry with him. Douche.
• Ohio middle school refuses to take down Jesus picture.
• US House of Representatives extends disaster relief to religious organizations.
• Transexual episcopal chaplain at BU.

That's right... cue up the banjos, 'cause TGIA is going to the South!

Mmmm, so Bible-y!

Here's the thing: we don't know what to see! We've both been to the South a bit, but neither of us is overly familiar with the area as a whole (Frank used to live in Oklahoma, of course, but that's a small part of a very big zone). So we need your help!

What we're looking for is the kinda stuff we talk about on the show. Creationist museums, nutty Christian revivals, besieged Mosques, world's largest crucifix.... Anything odd, surreal, or otherwise of interest. Or really good roller coasters. You know... whatever.

Also... YOU! We wanna meet you, our faithful (ha!) listeners! So, with that said:

• Live in the South? Convince us that your city/town/area is worth making the stop. What's happening out in your neck of the woods that makes your hometown awesome/terrifying/hilarious?
• Been to the South? Tell us about your not-to-be-missed experiences.
• Read about something cool? Pass it along!
• Know nothing about the South? Keep your filthy trap shut!

Listen:

• "Big Gay" #64

Newsy Stuff:

• Vatican admits it doesn't fully understand youth culture.
• Marriott Hotels (owned by prominent Mormon family) helps fight DOMA. 
• Douche bag dog owner sends 'gay' dog to be euthanized. 
• Texas "schools" teach Bible courses.
• John Walk Lindh wins right to group prayer in federal prison.
• Jesus in Japan.

Listen:

• "No Church Pants For Me" #63

Newsy Stuff: 

• Mormon young women's leader says, "no need to lobby for rights."
• Austrian Turks see racism in Lego's Jabba's Palace.
• Unlicensed counselor in ultraorthodox community sentenced to 103 years for sexually abusing teen patient. 
• Ten most "Bible-minded" cities and the ten least "Bible-minded" cities.
• With a lot of money on the line in a wrongful death lawsuit, Catholic hospital claims, "fetuses not people."
• French court says Twitter must identify racist twatts. 

• Sutherland Institute does their annual complainy thing about the Sundance Film Festival. 
• Watch the CNN report on the British Airways flight attendant who just won the right to wear her crucifix at work.
• Gay Mormons finally have a way to meet each other online. 
• Fascinating article about Scientology self-destructing.
• Somehow we failed to mention that the Connecticut priest who was selling meth also is a cross-dresser and was allegedly having sex in the rectory (and no, that's not a euphemism).
• Even though they think abortion is wrong, way fewer religious folk than you would think actually want to see Roe v. Wade overturned. 

"But why, Dan? You don't believe in the Mormon church anymore. Why do you care about what other people think is sacred?"

Well, fictitious questioner, one reason is I know A LOT of Mormons and I have no desire for them to feel hurt or betrayed by me. It's tough because religious people in general, and ESPECIALLY Mormons, feel attacked soooooo easily. Anything you say that questions any aspect of their religion is instantly perceived as an attack. Even stating your own non-belief is thought to be an attack. So, as someone who has a blog and podcast dedicated to looking at the world through the lens of atheism, I'm bound to piss some folks off. That is not my intention.

What is my intention is to take a real, open and honest look at the world and ask the questions that come up. And this video brings up A LOT of questions. For those of you who were never Mormon yourselves, I'm guessing this will positively baffle you. And make you cringe. And possibly wish you could un-see it.

Oddly, it may be even freakier for those of us who were Mormon. To have known so many good, intelligent people who submitted to this weirdness and accepted it as something that would bring them closer to a god for me brings up a cognitive dissonance as powerful as what first-time temple-goers must feel. You have to understand: newbies to the temple go into this ceremony completely unprepared for what they're about to see and do. Nobody explains any of what's about to happen to them. Usually all they know is that what they're about to experience is sacred, and they'll walk out in new underwear that they'll then have to wear for the rest of their lives.

My mind reels thinking about it.

So, rather than droning on more, I'm just going to present the video and let y'all have at it. I'm really interested to hear your reactions. Is it weirder than you expected? More boring? Both? What stands out to you? 

"Lock the door and hide!" "Is it the Mormons?" "No..."

What? The Catholics looking at "evangelization"? Shit just got real!

Seriously. Gone, apparently, are the days of the Catholic church resting on its laurels as the all-powerful religious monolith. These days, they're going to have to work for their money like everybody else. I suppose they'll stop short of sending young folks door-to-door for converts, but you can smell the desperation, can't you? I know I can.

We "nones" have gone from 15.3% in 2007 to 19.6% today. That's a pretty speedy ascent if you ask me! I certainly don't think it will continue at the same pace for long- this comfort with not having a religious affiliation is really new, and I suspect this could be termed our honeymoon period. But I'm guessing the pedal will be to the proverbial metal for a while, yet. Where will it slow? Who knows? 30%? 45%? Surely it will slow before it hits 50%, but at that point everything will look VERY different for us.

Mind you, being an out-and-proud atheist, I'm not sure how comfortable I am sitting in the same category as my wishy-washy "spiritual but not religious" friends. I find belief in "Universal Energy" or "healing light" or even just "there's gotta be SOMETHING out there, right?" pretty damned religious, even if the believer can't really nail down any specifics. I'd probably prefer that the Pew people separate them out, when all is said and done, but whatever.

The point here is that we are a very real and rapidly growing force, and the religious world is scared. This isn't just a trend, it isn't just a short-term change from which the pendulum will soon swing back. This is how it's going to be. These noises you're hearing from the mouths of religious leaders the world over aren't the clarion call sounding the rise of religion back to the top- they are the death throes. The long, angry, violent thrashing of an anachronistic institution sensing (but not admitting) it's impending irrelevance.

We're going to win. They're going to lose. Society will be better for it. And yes, I'll take bets on that. Hell, I'll give you odds!