Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are


In honor of “coming out day”:

I salute those who are brave enough to be themselves. In any venue, regardless of how supportive those around you are, it is an act of courage just to be you.

That said, some stand to lose A LOT more than others when they simply speak their truth. For many, simply being honest about who they’re attracted to puts them in jeopardy. They risk being ostracized, disowned, and sometimes verbally or physically assaulted. People die, just for daring to admit that, through no choice of their own, they are attracted to somebody of the same gender.

It seems to me that an even greater risk lies in admitting that you don’t identify with the gender your body was born into. Those who must face the decision to take steps to change their gender identity or live what feels like a lie are in a truly harrowing position, and I don’t envy them for that. But I do admire them. Whatever their choice, simply admitting their situation to themselves is an act of bravery.

As a straight white man, American society at the beginning of the 21st century goes pretty damned easy on me. I can walk down almost any street without fear. I can go to a job interview with the warm understanding that my qualifications are the only considerations that will be taken into account. It takes virtually no bravery whatsoever to write this post. What could I possibly stand to lose?

The only experience I have had that comes close to a “coming out” is that of being open about my lack of a god-belief. Atheists are more hated and less trusted in America than almost any other group (one poll showed atheists on a par with rapists in terms of trustworthiness- ouch). So I guess there’s that. But even though being an atheist has exposed me to very real scorn and ill-treatment, I still feel like I get off easy. It’s pretty low-risk. Nobody has threatened to beat me up (yet). If I don’t want you to know that I’m atheist, I have the option of simply keeping my mouth shut (a luxury not every gay or trans person has).

So here’s to you, out-comers of all sorts! I support you, I honor you, and, in whatever way you need me to, I got your back.

9 thoughts on “Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are

  1. Dan, thank you for this. I am so grateful to you, as I am to all our straight allies, for your support and acceptance. It really means more than you probably realize. Growing up in a society that tells you you are sick, perverted, disgusting, abnormal, ridiculous leaves its scars. I never take for granted the support

  2. Dan, thank you for this. I am so grateful to you, as I am to all our straight allies, for your support and acceptance. It really means more than you probably realize. Growing up in a society that tells you you are sick, perverted, disgusting, abnormal, ridiculous leaves its scars. I never take for granted the support of people like you.

    You guys are great! I’m eagerly awaiting your next podcast! Happy Coming Out Day!

  3. I’m coming out at the annual family get together next month.

    I’ll finally be expressing my true inner self to sundry and all.

    I’m a furry.

    I’m glad you have my back. You’ll be there for me, right?

  4. I had a real difficult time trying to follow what your friend said during podcast 111. Something about strong atheists who mock people who take the bible literally.

    These are the people who deserve to be mocked.

    I just had a conversation with a guy who was saying the old laws don’t matter because of the covenant. But in order to do that he has to ignore the part of the Bible where Jesus says all the laws are in place and will be until the earth falls.

    This guy says he is a Christian, but is ignoring the Jesus Christ’s supposed direct words in order to match the Bible to his understanding. Like many (if not all) Christians he claims his morality comes from the Bible. So when confronted with the Bible’s acceptance of slavery, he compares slavery with a job, or the government requiring one to get a license for a car, or hunting.

    These ideas don’t just deserve to be mocked, they need to be mocked and ridiculed. No sane person compares the owning of other humans with having a job, or government licensing. It’s not the first time I’ve heard this same drivel. It’s not even the third time.

    When people claim there is a bigfoot, or Nessie the Loch Ness monster, or aliens snatching up humans, we look at these claims with, hopefully, scepticism. Not acceptance because there may be a kernal of truth somewhere. We know people have made up stories for no reason other then their own pleasure. Hoaxes for their own amusement and outright frauds for monetary enrichment and power. India is rife with them, as is the Catholic church. With statues weeping toilet water.

    People have come forward accepting their part in hoaxes having to do with fairies, bigfoot tracks, crop circles and the Loch Ness monster.

    When it comes to certain things, I’m a strong ‘atheist’.





    I would hope he is too. It’s not a virtue to believe in nonsense and hoaxes. Evidence counts. There is a reason why we have more cameras and imaging devices on the earth at any time before in history, and no miracles are photographed.

    If God can create the universe, the earth, humans, every single animal on earth, then it’s a good bet that he can provide evidence and let us know that he exists. Instead he plays hide the sausage in his mystery mansion in the sky.


    Oh, love the show.

    Ta Ta.

  5. I can’t even begin to tell you both how disappointed I am with your last episode.

    Sure, my knees are feeling better, but now my gonorrhea is out of control.

    Thanks guys.

  6. Thanks to you guys, I’ve been much more vocal about being an atheist over the last year or so, and I’ve been shocked at how many other people in my social circle are atheists as well. Even those that are devote in their faiths have been respectful and receptive. More importantly, I feel like I’m being true to myself and it gives me space to speak religion in our laws and government.

    So, thanks!

  7. I’m an out (and damned outspoken) atheist everywhere but at work. And at work, I’m simply afraid it would be held against me, since I know my manager is Christian. It deeply angers me that I need to worry about it, but this is what I feel is best for me.

    So call me a coward, say I’m not brave, but I’ve suffered through long-term periods of unemployment, and I just can’t do it again.

  8. Earlier this summer I launched a new Meetup group called “The Atheist Abbey.” Omg, the response has been tremendous! In my first four days I had forty people sign up. Many members have told me they’ve waited years to find a community of like-minded people.

    Since then, I’ve dared to come out a few times in new situations. But when I mention that I’m a staunch atheist, I always make a point of including my philosophy of global acceptance for all beliefs. In doing so, I’ve been accepted by my audience, and it’s been a pain-free experience. :-)

  9. Have you considered what Abigail Shrier’s thought are in Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *