TGIA HAS A PODCAST! WOOHOO!

Isn't that FUN? It's me (Dan) and fellow non-believer Frank opining away about current events and livin' la vida ateo...

So, if you want to listen, you can stream it from our web site, or scoot on over to here, or (recommended) go to iTunes and type "Thank God I'm Atheist" into the search bar. Then click "subscribe", and sounds of joy and jubilation will spring forth from your computer, and choirs of angels will sing, and confetti and balloons will drop from your ceiling, and the lion shall lie down with the lamb, and all will be well in the Universe. Thus sayeth the Lord. And by Lord, I mean me. And I could be lying....

• Episode 7 "Sock it to me, Jesus!"

Hey kids! Look: we're linking stuff from the podcast here on the website! You know what that's called? Integration. We're finally trying to integrate some stuff around here. Isn't that nice?

So... if you heard us talking about a very special sock, and wanted a pic, go here:

The Daily Mail legitimating nonsense...

If'n you wanna see some Kim Jong-Illness, you can check this out:

If you want to see something horrifying/amazing that we referenced:

I believe all society is to blame for this.

Thanks for listening! Love ya bunches!

• Episode 8: You Drive Like You're Eating a Sandwich

Hey everybody! Frank here (the other half of Thank God I'm Atheist Podcast). For my first post to TGIA, I would like to provide some links from episode 8 of the podcast. I'm not much of a blogger or "status updater," so that's probably all you'll see from me here. But do feel free to follow my twitter @tgiatheist.

• Here's that nice article from the Telegraph with the catchy title: A Science Fan's Guide to the Iowa Caucus.
• As for the question of how much would a Romney Presidency be influenced by LDS Church leadership in Salt Lake City, I actually ran across another article from the Salt Lake Tribune by that kind-of-boring-and-never-points-out-anything-interesting Robert Kirby whose answer is, "well... duh." Like I said, Kirby never really has any interesting to say, but what I did find worth pointing out, is that chowderheads like Kirby miss the point by saying "well, of course he would be... we're all influenced by something!" The question is, "should we be concerned by a US presidency being influenced by the LDS Church?" 
• Thomas S. Monson – prophet, seer, and revelator of the LDS Church – named one of the top 10 most admired people in the world.
• French police pull over a woman for wearing a burka while driving. And yes, they really did tell her it was as dangerous as driving while eating a sandwich.  

• Episode 9: Mary's for Mary

As promised, here is the link to the Google Map showing all of Warren Jeffs' prophecies. 

Also of note:

• Virgin Mary appears at Tampa Bay gay bar
• Pope says gay marriage is a threat to humanity's future
• The NPR article "Is Obama Waging War on Religion?" 

• Episode 11: Repent ye!

Stories Dan brought up:

• Crazy Christian's conspiracy website: www.jesus-is-savior.com
• Indonesian man attacked and arrested after posting on Facebook that God does not exist. 

So, sometimes folks get sick. Or a family emergency occurs. Or somebody hits his head really hard on something.

If one of these eventualities occurs (let's say the last one, for example), and you run a two-man operation, it can mean that you have to postpone your podcast release for the week. So no podcast today. Sorry. Look for it Sunday evening!

(If I were you, I'd start building my excitement now about it... then when you finally get to listen to it, you'll be so stoked that it will blow your mind!)(Or you'll be hideously disappointed. One or the other)

In the meantime, here's this. You're welcome.

Oh... my... GOD!!!

We failed you! In spite of all our BEST efforts, we were unable to cobble together a podcast for this week! Mea Culpa! 

Humbly, we are chastising ourselves, appropriately flagellating and scourging our bodies, and looking into systems that we can put into place so this doesn't happen again (maybe next time, we'll just run an episode of Touched by an Angel backwards and see if you guys hear any hidden messages...).

So... until late Wednesday night, which is when we usually post our little show, I'll have to leave you with this bit of wackiness (middle-aged white guy nuttiness begins at about the 0:30 mark). There's a prize for anyone who can understand more than three words this guy sings...

Hey y'all... I mentioned this vid on the ol' podcast. I hesitate to post it, actually, because the taste level of the makers of the video is almost as questionable as that of those being "exposed". But I talked about putting it on, so... here you go:

Some fun/frightening items for this holy week. First, the vid of "Passover Rhapsody" in all its puppet-y glory. 

So, in our last podcast I talked about the Army's so-called "spiritual fitness test," also apparently known as the Global Assessment Tool / Soldier Fitness Tracker. Unfortunately, my source for info was a little hazy, so I took to the Google-web to try to find more. That's where I found this site which had these screen-caps of the test itself:

Fitness is very important to an army...

As far as I'm concerned, this represents a whole shit-load of what is wrong with how our society treats religion. It is so revered that when a link is established between lack of religiosity and soldier suicides, nobody bothers to ask why. They just assume that religion itself is the answer, and then red-flag anyone who doesn't have religion. They completely ignore the fact that, while they have established a relationship between religious practice and not-killing-self, they're nowhere near demonstrating a causal relationship. 

Why is that so important? Because, among MANY other reasons, they're missing a huge opportunity. HUGE! If they took half the money they're putting into this ridiculous "fitness" evaluation, and actually looked for what, exactly, was the root cause of the added resilience religious soldiers seem to have, my guess is that they would have some very interesting data on their hands. Data that could possibly be used to design programs that could be useful to all soldiers, not just the ones with extra Jesus. 

But that's not what the U.S. Military wants. They don't want to be in the business of safeguarding their soldiers' psychological well-being. They just want to create automatons who won't embarrass them later by doing something stupid like having mental health issues or killing themselves. They want to make killing machines who won't think too much about what they're doing. They want order-followers.

So they evaluate "spiritual fitness" in the hopes of weeding out those who won't off themselves, rather than creating well-balanced, emotionally ready soldiers. And the suicide numbers go up... and the cycle keeps right on a-cycling. 

So, in episode #40 I promised to post a couple of things, and I like to follow through on AT LEAST 45% of all my promises, so here's some stuff:

Christine emailed us with tales of her Catholic upbringing. Actually she mostly just wanted us to see this creepy thing:

Scale this up, and you got yourself a beautiful Jesus toilet!

 You know: for kids! I'll let Christine explain.

"I remember some people just looping their palm fronds into what I now think of as a "cause ribbon" shape and tucking them behind a mirror or picture frame, but I had a special receptacle for mine.  It was an Infant of Prague statue with a compartment attached to Jesus's back.  Looking for images online, I see people calling it a vase or even a pencil holder, but as far as I knew growing up, its purpose was to hold your palm fronds until Ash Wednesday rolled around again."

Ah, palm fronds. The holiest of all the fronds, I think.

I also wanted to show you how gawd-awful the billboards are that we talked about. Brett sent in a link to these. What I neglected to mention is that they went up in Charlotte, NC to coincide with the Democratic National Convention. If I were a member of American Atheists (which I have no plans on being anytime soon), I would seriously consider rescinding my membership over these:

In your FACE, stupid believers! Now join our group...

 Our objections to the content of these monuments to the dick-ishness of the American Atheists is spelled out on the show, but I wanted to let Brett voice his objections:

"As an Art professor... I cannot get behind these billboards aesthetically whatsoever. I agree that there SHOULD be billboards but the designs of these ones make me wish I was religious. This is a textbook example of what happens when a company tries to save money and avoid hiring a design agency. These aren't going to change anyone's minds, which isn't the point this time, but they're going to fail to even impress fellow atheists. There is text ALL OVER THE PLACE and for Christ's sake get rid of the black bars on the bottom already. It makes me feel like I'm watching a widescreen movie on a square tv. I wish I could think of something intelligent to write to deride the imagery but frankly, the only word that comes to mind is stupid. Stupid to the point where I'm offended they they think I would think it's funny. So often people fail to realize how important design actually is. However, if they actually ARE paying good money for these billboards (I doubt it but hey, who knows) then it's time to start paying someone else. These atheist billboards are making me such an angry atheist!"

Exactly Brett. And I want to assure all of you, here and now, that if Thank God I'm Atheist ever gets off it's collective ass and actually does something like a billboard, it will look GORGEOUS! That's our commitment to you.

So, this week's episode of the podcast (#45 "Balls") is something special. Besides the fact that Frank may still have been slightly drunk from his birthday bender the night before we recorded, we also air the interview we did with author, speaker, and all-around nice guy Darrel Ray.

Do I? I'm the mastur!

Darrel has written two books now (both available on Amazon), both with terribly compelling premises, but the one we focused on was his newest book Sex and God: How religion distorts sexuality. His contention-- and it seems impossible that this could be true-- is that growing up in a society dominated by religion can have a deleterious effect on your sex life.

"But Dan," you ask, "how could living under seemingly arbitrary and counter-natural strictures and sexual mores possibly make sex anything but better?" Well, it's a valid question, and one we put to Dr. Ray. He seems to think that telling young people that masturbating is evil, and shaming kids about their own natural (and, if memory serves, INSANELY POTENT) sexual urges might somehow skew their ability to have a healthy sex life. Weird.

So, for a guy that writes dirty books, he's a pretty entertaining fella, and you should listen to us interview him. To listen, go to our homepage and click the Podcast button on the right-hand side of your screen, or head on over to iTunes and download that shit! You're gonna love it. 

• Sutherland Institute does their annual complainy thing about the Sundance Film Festival. 
• Watch the CNN report on the British Airways flight attendant who just won the right to wear her crucifix at work.
• Gay Mormons finally have a way to meet each other online. 
• Fascinating article about Scientology self-destructing.
• Somehow we failed to mention that the Connecticut priest who was selling meth also is a cross-dresser and was allegedly having sex in the rectory (and no, that's not a euphemism).
• Even though they think abortion is wrong, way fewer religious folk than you would think actually want to see Roe v. Wade overturned. 

Listen:

• "No Church Pants For Me" #63

Newsy Stuff: 

• Mormon young women's leader says, "no need to lobby for rights."
• Austrian Turks see racism in Lego's Jabba's Palace.
• Unlicensed counselor in ultraorthodox community sentenced to 103 years for sexually abusing teen patient. 
• Ten most "Bible-minded" cities and the ten least "Bible-minded" cities.
• With a lot of money on the line in a wrongful death lawsuit, Catholic hospital claims, "fetuses not people."
• French court says Twitter must identify racist twatts. 

Listen:

• "Big Gay" #64

Newsy Stuff:

• Vatican admits it doesn't fully understand youth culture.
• Marriott Hotels (owned by prominent Mormon family) helps fight DOMA. 
• Douche bag dog owner sends 'gay' dog to be euthanized. 
• Texas "schools" teach Bible courses.
• John Walk Lindh wins right to group prayer in federal prison.
• Jesus in Japan.

Well, y'all, we're doing it! This Spring, Frank and I will be touring this fair Country of ours. Well, we'll be touring part of the Country. The batshit crazy part.

That's right... cue up the banjos, 'cause TGIA is going to the South!

Mmmm, so Bible-y!

Here's the thing: we don't know what to see! We've both been to the South a bit, but neither of us is overly familiar with the area as a whole (Frank used to live in Oklahoma, of course, but that's a small part of a very big zone). So we need your help!

What we're looking for is the kinda stuff we talk about on the show. Creationist museums, nutty Christian revivals, besieged Mosques, world's largest crucifix.... Anything odd, surreal, or otherwise of interest. Or really good roller coasters. You know... whatever.

Also... YOU! We wanna meet you, our faithful (ha!) listeners! So, with that said:

• Live in the South? Convince us that your city/town/area is worth making the stop. What's happening out in your neck of the woods that makes your hometown awesome/terrifying/hilarious?
• Been to the South? Tell us about your not-to-be-missed experiences.
• Read about something cool? Pass it along!
• Know nothing about the South? Keep your filthy trap shut!

Frank and Dan are hitting the road starting May 13 through May 27, and we'd love to meet as many of you along the way as possible. Please let us know if you'd like to meet up. 

Mon, May 13 – en route to Dallas from Salt Lake

Tue, May 14 – DALLAS

Wed, May 15 – AUSTIN

Thu, May 16 – HOUSTON

Fri, May 17 – NEW ORLEANS

Sat, May 18 – MONTGOMERY

Sun, May 19 – ATLANTA

Mon, May 20 – MURFREESBORO, TN

Tue, May 21 – MEMPHIS

Wed, May 22 – CLARKSDALE, MS

Thu, May 23 – EUREKA SPRINGS, AR

Fri, May 24 & Sat, May 25 – MUSKOGEE COUNTY, OK

Sun, May 26 – TULSA

Mon, May 27 – TOPEKA

It is unlikely that these dates and stops will change, but please let us know if you think they should! 

Ok, so... Remember our last post, where we went through and told you EXACTLY where we were going to be, and when? Well... we lied. Sorry- I mean we have since revised. Based on a number of factors including listener/reader comments, events we didn't want to miss and things we wanted to see, we now have a NEW AND IMPROVED itinerary!

BEHOLD!!!

That's right, upper-left corner! It IS in the Unites States!

This is where we're really going. Like, for sure. For total sure. 

Unless something else comes up.

And here's what the timing pretty much looks like:

Monday, May 13- Texas panhandle: Amarillo and Groom. Spend the night in Groom (I checked this place out on Google. Small town Texas. Wow.)

Tuesday, May 14- Lunch in Wichita Falls, TX on our way to Dallas. Spend the night in Dallas.

Wednesday, May 15- Lunch in Waco, on our way to Houston. Sleep in Houston.

Thursday, May 16- Stay in Houston (we get to not drive for a day!). FUN MEETUP at night at the Fox & Hound Pub (11470 Westheimer Road)- Houstonites, be there or be square!

Friday, May 17- Drive to Shreveport, Louisiana. Have some fun (TBA). Sleep.

Saturday, May 18- Head to Jackson, Mississippi. Sing "I'm going to Jackson" in the style of Johnny Cash the entire way.

Sunday, May 19- AM church in Jackson, lord help us (yep- that means a church review), then press on to Montgomery, Alabama. 

Monday, May 20- A long and rather circuitous route through 'Bama will eventually land us in Murfreesboro, TN.

Tuesday, May 21- We leave early, 'cause we gotta make it to Memphis before Graceland closes (though we'll pass through another town called Jackson, so we'll be singing Cash again before we start singing Elvis).

Wednesday, May 22- Wave at Little Rock (maybe have lunch there- any Little Rockers out there wanna join us?) on our way to Hot Springs, Arkansas. Why Hot Springs? Who knows.

Thursday, May 23- Drive through the beautiful (one supposes) Ouachita National Forest to Muskogee County, Oklahoma. Frank's old stomping grounds! I get to see where Frank practiced his trombone for marching band! I'm not making that up!

Friday, May 24- Frank Family stuff. You're not invited.

Saturday, May 25- Passion Play in Eureka Springs, Arkansas! EVERYBODY SHOULD COME TO THIS WITH US! Seriously, if you live anywhere even remotely close to Eureka Springs (and remember, compared to, say, Poland, most American locations are pretty close), you need to join us for this event! Then, we'll go find a place nearby that serves alcohol. Lot's of alcohol. So help me if Eureka Springs turns out to be in a "dry County", I'll know FOR SURE that there's no god.

Sunday, May 26- Party in Bonner Springs, Kansas! We'll send you a full report.

Monday, May 27- Stop in Topeka (home of those nice Westboro Baptists), do some stuff, have lunch, and then put the pedal to the metal, and get our asses home!

KABAM!

So that's it. That's where we'll be and a lot of what we'll be doing! If you want to be a part of it, hit us up! If you're in one of these fine towns, let us know, and we'll try to announce where we'll be, so y'all can join in the festivities. See you soon!

Well kids, it's fo' real. We... are in Texas. The Thank God I'm Atheist road trip through the South has begun, and here's proof. Enjoy:

Video number 2 from our Homeric adventure. There's something special about a place where folks are so bored that they can't think of a better use of their time than to build something huge in an area NOBODY has any reason to visit.

Well... nobody except us.

A charming little hamlet on the Mississippi river, Vicksburg, Mississippi has been a thriving beacon of commerce for well over a century. One of the battlegrounds of the Civil Wa... er... the "War Between the States", Vicksburg is rich in history. Like everywhere else in the South, it is also rich in churches. This is one of them. Enjoy.

 

What do you do when you're a 70+ year old man living in rural Prattville, Alabama, you have health problems, and you have more paint than you know what to do with? You proclaim the gospel, of course! And you do it by creating hundreds of crosses and dozens of signs painted on old appliances.

Here's the thing: we didn't really get half of this guy's stuff into this video. It just goes on and on and on! We actually saw one pole that had a bunch of crosses nailed to it, and then a dozen or so SIGNS THAT SAID THE WORD "CROSS"!!! That's right- he stopped making actual crosses, and instead painted the word "cross" onto a piece of wood, and nailed that up. You can imagine the looks on our faces when we realized that we had forgotten to get that on camera for y'all. (Note: we are officially using the word y'all, now)

Oh well, we can't bring you everything. What we can bring you is me (Dan) acting silly at a roadside pile of weirdness commonly known as "The Cross Garden":